Going Bannanas
by SpArKyCoLa77
Summary: The Crew are suddenly attacked by monkeys. What more trouble can they get into?


**Going Bananas**

_"There's an evil monkey in my closet"_

_- Family Guy_

The Andromeda had just gotten out of the slipstream, when an unknown object hit the ship. But the weird thing is that the Andromeda didn't detect anything on the radar. The crew then heard a loud shout that sounded somewhat like a primate. Dylan had decided to send Tyr and Rhade to go investigate what was going on. They got to the problem and stand there in amazement.

"Rhade, haven't monkeys been extinct for thousands of years?" "Yes, I believe so" Rhade replied. "Then what the hell are we looking at?" Tyr shouts raising his eyebrows in surprise. "Oooh-ooh, ahh-ahh!" Suddenly echoed through the ship. Rhade leaned over and whispered to Tyr, "Do you have any clue what that thing just said?" "No clue, but I suggest we shoot now." They both nod in agreement and begin to shoot the helpless chimp. The monkey jumped from wall to wall avoiding the speeding plasma lasers. Tyr and Rhade finally corner him as they aim their guns.

"Ready, aim...," at that moment the two crew members hear heavy breathing from behind them. They turn around in fright as a 10 foot gorilla stood before their eyes. Dylan and the others had been watching the two the whole time. Trance shouts "Run! Just get out of there!" They run as fast as they can when they come to a complete stop. What they thought was one monkey turned out to be an army of blood thirsty chimps. "We run on 3," Tyr says. "1...2...GO!" They shoot the chimps as they run. The rest of the crew stand there in suspense when the screen goes blank. "Andromeda, show us Tyr and Rhade!" Dylan yells impatiently. "The cameras are offline, sorry. I'll do what I can" Andromeda says. "Aaaaaaahhhhh" Tyr shouts as the monkeys rip him apart. The crew suddenly grew quiet as Rhade runs through the door out of breath. He had blood all over his face and hands, while looking dissapointed and upset.

"Where's Tyr!" Beka shouts in wonder. "He didn't make it." Replied Rhade. Constant pounding on the command decks doors were beginning to be heard. "The monkeys...they're here" Trance says out of nowhere. "Oh crap, everybody turn your forcelances to plasma blast mode." Dylan says. Dylan begins to press buttons on the panel, but nothing is happening. "Andromeda why the hell isn't anything working?" he asked. Andromeda's hologram appeared next to him, hands behind her back and with a serious expression. She replied, "It appears to be that these primates have overided my codes and are now taking over the rest of the ship." Dylan sighed deeply and opened a screen to Harper.

* * *

In the hydroponics bay Harper sat in a beach chair as the heat shown down from the room resting on his face. He wore a pair of Oakley sunglasses and sat comfortably relaxing with a Sparky cola in his left hand. He took a sip, then turned and looked to his left as he spoke, "Hey man, want another Sparky." "OOh-ooh Ahh-ahh," his little friend answered back. "I take that as a yes." He then reached into his cooler and handed him another one. The monkey took it and sat back in relaxation. He also sat in a beach chair with a pair of sunglasses just as Harper. Also, wearing a hat, he tipped it to Harper knowing he was having a good time. The monkey took another sip of his Sparky just as Dylan appeared on screen.

"Harper, what is that." The monkey jumped from the chair and ran away, but he was to fast for Dylan to see clearly. "Ummmm...," Harper looked over at the empty chair, "that would be an empty lounge chair Dylan." Dylan gave him a glare and shook his head. "Whatever. Well I need you to do me a favor." "Anything for you boss," Harper chimed with excitment. Dylan then continued, "I want you climb up into the conduits and overide these monkeys codes. Ok! Dylan out." Dylan blinked off screen as Harper shrugged his shoulders and went in search for his little friend. All too knowing clearly that he was disobeying the captains orders. _Oh well!_ thought Harper.

* * *

Back on the command deck disaster had struck. The monkeys had just about gotten through the doors. Beka just about had it. She opened the doors and held her guns up and said, "Bring it on you overgrown rats!" They charged at her with rage. Rhade yelled "No!" Out of the clear blue sky, Rev Bem jumped in front of her and said, "Good-bye...my friends, remember the divine is within you." The crew stands there in shock as they watch Rev get eaten alive yelling "Aklachiambotada!" He said it in a magog voice. Now the crew was on a rage and they all got away but there were too many monkeys, they just kept on coming.

* * *

While in hydroponics Harper and the monkey were back to being lazy, just as Rommie walked in. "Harper! What are you doing with that!" she pulls out her gauss gun and aims it him. Harper jumps in front of her defensively, "Wait! he's a good guy Rommie. You could say he's my little chimpy friend. He's not like the others." "Yah, and I'm Micheal Jackson! Now move out of the way!" She pushes him aside and aims her gun once again. He once again jumps in front of her and defends his little friend, "Rommie, look I'm not dead, now am I. He hasn't tried to kill me yet, so you can say he's one of us." Harper gives her those puppy dog eyes, but it supposedly doesn't work on Rommie. "Yet! How do you know he's not waiting for the right moment to kill you," Rommie stated. Harper looked confused not knowing what to say,"Well...ummmm... you see..." "You see it's quite a possibility, but I don't suppose it's happening any time soon, because I consider you a friend. Isn't that right little buddy?" the monkey had spoke out of nowwhere, in an intelligent way. Harper and Rommie looked at him wide-eyed. Harper staring in aww snapped out of it, "See I told you, so." Rommie shook her head back to reality. She then nodded agreeing having her mouth open, not believing this. I guess it's true that humans had evolved from primates. "You should join us Romdoll," Harper stated then winked, "we're having alot of fun." Rommie just gave him a wry smile.

Dylan and what was left of the crew were getting ambushed. Dylan leaned on a console and pushed a couple of buttons opening a link to Rommie. In hydroponics there sat Harper, the monkey, and Rommie. All three sat in lounge chairs relaxing in the heat from the rays of the sun roof, just as Dylan appeared on screen. "Rommie! You need to come down here. We need your help." Rommie just sat there and took another sip of her Sparky, "Sorry Dylan. I'm on lunch break." She then broke the link. Harper smiled and then spoke, "Nice going Romdoll." He took a sip of his Sparky Cola as they all just relaxed.

* * *

Dylan had sacrificed himself to save the rest of them. He died because the monkeys threw an atomic acid poo at him and he disinigrated. The last words he said were, "Take care of my ship, please...(fsssst)." The chimps had burned him alive without a care about him at all. Beka stands there yelling, "NO! This can't be happening!" Rhade grabs her knowing that he is the only one that can still save her. Right when Rhade pulls her away, the monkeys glance up at them with big beady glowing red eyes and death written all over them. These monkeys weren't here to play, all they wanted to do was kill.

The remaining bit of the crew got to the 67th deck as they await for the doors to open. When they all get through but right as Rhade starts in, the monkeys appear and everyone runs. "Aaaaaaahhh!" they all screamed in fright. They get through unharmed, or so they thought. But right as they settle down, the evil chimps barge right in. They run for the next door when Trance trips and Rhade, the only guy there, had to put on a heroic act and save her. On his way back for her, he grabs her and yells, "Run Trance, run, just go, now!" She just barely makes it and the chimps grab Rhade like blood thirsty zombies. There's nothing they can do but watch their helpless friend die there in pain. Beka, as the 2nd officer orders Trance to move. As she is the only one left with her. She must obey her, but when they thought they would be able to get out, Beka's leg gets caught in the doors grip. The monkeys get a hold of it and rip it right off of her like a Mr. Potato head's arms get ripped off by babies. Blood gushes everywhere. She goes back to try and save Beka as the gorilla looks at her like an ant looks at a lolipop. She grabs Beka and tries to run. "Go Trance, I got him, it's okay. Take care of Harper for me." "No Beka, I'm not leaving you here alone with that giant ape. You'll never make it!" "It's an order Trance, I order you to go." "Yes ma'am. Good-bye Beka, We won't forget you." "Ok, bring it" Beka yells at the gorilla. With one leg all she could do is sit there. All Trance could do is watch Beka get slaughtered by the gigantic primate, she runs. Trance is all alone, searching for Rommie and Harper. Little does she know she's not the only one.

Rommie was found by Trance as she pursues her orders to kill the chimps. "Where is everyone, Trance? What the hell happened?" "I am afraid the rest of the crew is..." "Dead? Trance don't tell me that's true," Rommie interrupts. "I'm sorry Rommie, there was just too many of them." Trance concluded. "Yes, I know, you me and Harper are the only ones left" They look at each other and realize Harper's not there, "Harper!" They both yell and run in search for him, going their seperate ways. Rommie turned a corner and ran smack into Harper. Harper got up holding his head, "Ahhh! Rommie watch where your going." "Sorry, but you need to come with me." She grabbed his hand and pulled him. "We have to find Trance now. What are you even doing here.Your bound to get hurt." "I don't know. The monkey said he had to go and do something important, and I was trying to follow him I guess," Harper told Rommie. Rommie grabbed him again and pulled him the other way. "Well your coming with me!" They turned around and well, they just stood there. "Uh-oh," was all Harper could say.

* * *

There stood another army of monkeys. Blood thirsty I would say. All the monkeys glared at them with red glowing eyes, drooling over their next meal. Just then the biggest of them all stepped forward. The master gorilla had given a pleasent smirk. He had then rushed at Rommie while Harper stood there watching. The 10 foot gorilla rushed at Rommie as she gave one swift move to the side. The gorilla had flew past her, and stumbled by Harper as he stuck out his foot. The gorilla tripped over Harper's foot and was sent flying into a crate of boxes. Rommie smiled at Harper and rushed over to the big fuzzball. She then lifted him up with her bare hands and sent him flying across the hall. He hit the wall with a loud snap. He got back up as the monkeys cheered him on, surrounding them in a large circle. Rommie punched once, but the gorilla dodged the blow. She then sent a kick his way, but he also dodged that. Rommie was soon getting frustrated and the gorilla kicked Rommie into a wall. Soon enough she surprised everyone. She jumped off the wall and did a double backflip over his head and landed on her feet fists out, ready for some action. She began to throw punches repeatedly as the gorilla fell to the floor. He got up and charged at her, but she jumped forward and did a spinning kick. She twisted through the air like a falcon charges for his prey, and sent the big ugly hairball sprawling through the air. He sat there for a while, as everyone thought he was dead. But he got up afterwards, and let me tell you, rage was written all over his face. He gripped the ladder tightly and pulled with all his might as he used it as a metal bar. Rommie had also done the same, but before she did anything she leaned over to Harper and whispered, "Harper, I need you to overide their codes and depresurize every part of this ship that includes a monkey. And don't worry about them," as she pointed to the chimps, "they'll be too distracted with this fight, then to follow you." Harper nodded and left without notice. Rommie got back to work as she faced the gorilla holding her weapon in her hand, considering the fact that she had left her force lance in hydroponics, this was the only choice. They both stepped forward and the gorilla took the first strike. He missed her by an inch. But they were so fast that all you really heard or saw was metal hitting metal. Rommie got him to the ground as the metal stick flew out of his hand. She pointed the metal rod at his face. She had enough of this, and knew now was the time to end it. Before Rommie finished him off she spoke with a very scarce tone, "Do you know what happens when you mess with an AI? The same thing that happens to everything else!" She took the metal rod, rose it above her head, then brought it down in one quick motion as she stuck him in the heart. The blood began to gush out as the other chimps stared in anger and surprisment. Just as Rommie threw the stick down in frustration and enjoyment the monkeys had began to charge at her. I guess since she killed their boss they had nothing left to live for, and if they all charged her at once maybe, just maybe, they could destroy her.

_"Ok rewind!" I take the camera and face it to me one of the authors of this story. I raise my eyebrows knowing no way in hell these monkey's are going to have a chance against Rommie. I have on an expression as if saying "yeah right!" and turn the camera back to the story._

Rommie killed some in her way and rushes through the crowd of blood craving chimps, although she's not organic. But they don't know that. She rushed down the coridoor just as Harper came on loud speaker. " Ladies and hairy men, now depresurizing deck 70, deck 66, and deck 43. Thank you for flying with the Andromeda. Have a nice life." The decks began to suck anything it had into the open vastness of space. Rommie being an AI, she was able to stand the pressure. Just as they had been done removing the monkeys from the ship Rommie spoke over the com to Harper. "Nice job Harper. I'll meet you in hydroponics. Andromeda out" Rommie and Harper had both met in hydroponics just as they started to hear loud noises and banging coming from the storage closet. "What the..." Harper was just about to continue, but Trance had then walked out of the closet looking quite disheveled. Her hair was tossed here and there, her clothes were on sloppily, and she was slightly limping. So that's where she had been the whole time. She just smiled and limped out as quickly as she could. As soon as she walked out the door Harper's little friend slid out from behind the closet door. Rommie and Harper hung there mouth's open surprised to what just happened. Harper then spoke his mind, "You're one lucky monkey!" The monkey just smiled and walked towards the lounge chair as he sat down.

* * *

Andromeda had been through alot. Most of her crew had died, Andromeda was trashed, and it was hard to believe the fact that Trance got it on with the monkey. But, really if you asked her, she doesn't care. Rommie, Harper and the monkey all sat in lounge chairs relaxing, each with a Sparky Cola in their hand sitting under the rays. As for Trance I don't think you really want to know what she was doing at the moment. Rommie then spoke, "Lunch break. I like the sound of that."

**This story was made my cousin and I. Denise (A.K.A. SpArKyCoLa77) and P.J. (A.K.A. munkyluvur66)**


End file.
